the roses of yesterday

108th Post

2009-08-07T19:15:00.000+08:00

I'm so attempted to move back to livejournal or xanga.

hahaha anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMUEL MANUELO! He's pretty much my favourite senior. heh although he thinks that he's very mature, that's like Nat trying to be cool.

anyway get well soon ah wan! 09s66 misses you, though I can't say much for 08s66. hahaha they'll probably busy mugging and realizing that there are no prom tables left for them... so therefore they can mug more -.-

hahaha so today was national day and I was super high for no reason. just thought since it's already so lame, then might as well make the best out of it. but it was very boring until vivian started dancing and we all began singing the national day songs. hahaha

after that it was welco banner painting time. impeccable timing of mark hee. lol

:D but oh well.. I pangsei them halfway to go out to find ahpau and huiqi(who had to leave for training immediately) =/ while laoyoutiao was sick at home :( hhaha but we bought this SUPER CHEAP SANDALS. omg so pretty and cheap! hahaha totally earned the money. heh. then I had lunch/breakfast and ahpau and I walked around ion orchard. and we played this incredibly stupid game but super fun. hahahaa now ahpau knows my taste in clothes. hahha and I know hers. heh. xD before that we went to starbucks to chill out and rest our poor feet. hahaha after that we all went home and I saw clarison holding hands. HAHAHA

love is battlefield.
and congrats to clarison for their victory!

but now dinner is lonely with me, myself and I. I guess that's three person and I'm really not dressed to go out so I shall eat cereal. heh :D oh wait maybe I should eat instant noodles. lol I don't really care. so full from lunch.

i love the breakfast family.

Battlefield - Jordin Sparks

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battle-field

One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)
Why does love always feel like..

Can't swallow our pride,
Neither of us wanna raise that flag, mhmm
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)

I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor
I guess you better go and get your...

We could pretend that we are friends tonight (oh-oh-oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
Cause baby we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like..

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield,
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor...

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for (fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)

I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor

Why does love always feel like...
Why does love always feel like...
A battlefield, a battlefield..

I never meant
to start a war
Don't even know
What we're fighting for

I never meant
to start a war
Don't even know
What we're fighting for

"Why must love feel like a battlefield?"
"Because the battlefield of love is where hearts are lost and won, where faith is restored and destroyed, and where I love you..."

2009-08-01T15:18:00.000+08:00

omg I am beyond sick.

I don't know... though the fever has subsided, I think I've just got throat inflammation again. gah. so it hurts everytime I swallow.

and I can't study for chem lecture test because I'm so sick and lethargic all the time.

gosh.

i feel like dying :(

2009-07-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

The picture in my phone became reality.

Thank you for the surprise, you know who you are

2009-07-16T21:11:00.001+08:00

you're just as stern and inflexible as a report card.

fail means fail.

watch me.

so I shed a single tear and it was all that was worth.

2009-07-12T01:00:00.002+08:00

I'm sick of being a failure.

It's very strange because there are many ways we can avoid being a failure, but somehow we don't do it. There was a nagging feeling in me throughout the whole preparation of blocks. something that told me because I wasn't smart enough, I wouldn't be able to make it without studying doubly head. something that told me that I could use the June Holidays more fruitfully, but I don't know.

I chose the easy way out.

I'm a failure not because I failed tests, but because I lost to myself.

I can't afford to do that anymore.

The worst thing is to come out with excuses. Had an headache during chem paper because I was chionging history.. couldn't do well. Excuses are just excuses. They are lousy reasons sometimes to explain failures. After the returning of the chem paper, I was sad, but I just couldn't express it. Because in the ultimate end, I knew I deserve it, so the face of indifference came.

There's still the return of econs, math and history papers, but somehow, I feel I've already failed.

Jiayou~

Happiness can't be the only thing that keeps you alive.

On the bright side, the quote from Harry Potter

"It is not the abilities that define who we are, but our choices."

how very true indeed.

Jiayou. You haven't reached your potential yet.. not even near.

102 Post

2009-07-08T23:09:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU!

2 and still counting.

101st Post

2009-07-03T16:43:00.003+08:00

Today I experienced something I have not felt for what... three plus years? the feeling has returned..

and I hate it.

finally what someone wished for me in my blog a few years ago has happened.

I cannot do this anymore.

my dear, I cant.

100th Post

2009-06-05T14:23:00.000+08:00

I don't have any right to be loved.

2009-05-18T00:32:00.002+08:00

Hello world.

I'm so sleepy though i slept so much today

woah. my conscience bites me.

but if I have to do it again, I'll do it.

if I have to say it again, I'll say it.

I'm sorry

but I don't regret my decision

I just wish I could have settled this in a better way.

98th Post

2009-05-14T19:57:00.005+08:00

I think the lack of sleep has been catching up on me.

am feeling a little dizzy.

I wonder how people like Ms Li can sleep two hours a day and not die.

but on the brighter note, today I learnt something new!

I can keep you to myself :D

and I love the breakfast family <3

they always make me so happy like how some people can differentiate stuff until get a constant behind. and how they always make fun of me and purposely walk the other way so that I could get stared at -.- especially when the way that we were supposed to go is obviously a lot shorter.

da bao loves xiaolongbao, laoyoutiao and ahpau! <3>

okay must read this. damn epic.

BY AH PAU -

"School everyday is superr tiring. I have at least 3 tutorials undone, I stone in most lectures and little unhappy things here and there tend to have an amplified effect on my mood because of fatigue. However, school is still fun! Because there's always the BREAKFAST FAMILY to save the day! (: (: (: (:

Once upon a longlonglong ago during the ancient times there lived a 老pau (or affectionately known as ahpau). Ahpau was lonely because long ago cavesmen and caveswomen only concentrated on building their caves and how to climb trees better to pluck coconuts, so they asked ahpau to go talk to her fingers whenever she tried to find company D: Then one fine day came along three legendary breakfast heroes which saved the day: xiaolongpau, bigpau and laoyoutiao! So the four members of the breakfast family embarked on a trail to fight supervillians, and they arrived at Hwa Chong JC. Each member had special invincible powers! Ahpau is ESPECIALLY STRONG in chemistry, cause you see she has permanent-tadpole permanent-tadpole interactions between her butt and the hwachong school grounds. Laoyoutiao had the ability to punch people's fats when they arent looking,cause villians cant spot her at night! (and sometimes even we cant too) Bigpau had acquired the invincible laughing gas kongfu! When she laughs everyone cant stop laughing (and somemore she laugh damn loudly LOL) then laoyou can swoop in to punch the villians! And finally there comes xiaolongpau, the female laoda of the gang. She is so scary, the villians will get a fright of their life when they spot her drifting off to sleep during lectures then suddenly JERK AWAKE! but thennnn, they meet the most formidable enemy of hwachong, the queen of boringness/pmsness, Mdm LauZhaBor! But no worries! The breakfast family has already taken action. Xiaolongpau has taken the first strategy aka the piss strategy by listing Es in her MCQs which comprises of only answers A-D! And the battle continues...
Stay tuned for episode 2 of The Breakfast Heros: Defeat of the LauZhaBor!"

haha you see why I'm so happy

but I still miss scey, toufoo and happyho though :D

and then there's this song...

"You and Me" - Lifehouse

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

Thank God there's all of you xD

97th Post

2009-05-13T22:51:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so insecure right now.

But then you realize that it's all for a greater cause and you're just willing to do whatever it takes.

I'm alright. I'm okay.

I'm a free spirit.

And people with a free spirit tend to look at the bigger picture and recover faster

despite what their hearts are telling them that the current situation is not advantageous to them at all.

but then maybe years later I'll regret it for not holding it a lot tighter, but then, just for now, I don't want it to be an obligation.

I just want you to want to.

2009-05-12T21:57:00.000+08:00

I AM HAPPY

2009-05-11T21:21:00.002+08:00

I AM HAPPY!

today's jts was pretty much a success for my standards of course :D and I had fun with my favourite people today, except laoyoutiao and xiaolongpau (according to ahpau) didn't come :( but I seriously had fun. And I ate super lot! :D

then after that hanged out with ahpau, harry and andai at swensen's! lol I finally figured out that it was SWENSEN'S not Swenseng or something. HAHA :D

I realized that... we need to understand that sometimes a friend can be a good friend but it doesn't mean that we'll always agree with his/her methods of doing things. So there we arrive at a crossroad to two conclusion; one: to give up on the friendship and believe otherwise of the friend; two: RESPECT. respect her decision no matter how irrational it may be and how stupid it might seem and allow the friend to continue, but make clear that you do disapprove of your friend's behaviour in that particular issue.

and I know many people would have a problem about how I treated that issue and many people have a problem regarding how you treat that issue.

But I want you to know.

it's irrational so we just follow our hearts and hope for the best xD

maybe one day karma will come biting me in the back, but at least for now, I'm contented with my decision.

2009-05-09T21:15:00.001+08:00

I am happy :D

hahahaa :D

I didn't know playing the piano could be so scandalous.

HAHAHAHA :D

2009-05-05T21:49:00.001+08:00

ahhhhh

on the verge of breaking down

or maybe I already had.

but then again, it means another opportunity to rise again.

2009-05-04T22:44:00.000+08:00

I am confused.

and I don't think I've ever been so confused in my life.

God, I need your help, I can't clear this up on my own.

Sometimes you can't just let your feelings guide you through.

On the other hand, I'm damn happy about my new post in Council. hahaha :D

2009-05-01T09:37:00.002+08:00

I didn't win the elections

in terms of votes.

But I thought I won myself in the interview and in this whole process.

I went up, said what I had to say and the people voted. Luckily, all this while, I had the support of my friends! :D

and for that I am thankful to all those who have supported me all these while!

Andai! Jocelyn! Waifoon! Huiqi! Harrison! Beehiang! Hsiu Chin! Huiying (badminton)! Alina! Yuanyi! Eeyang! Nicole! Woonlue! Ruiqi! Melz Peng! Ryan Seah! Joshua! Louis (he's damn awesomely cute)! Samuel! Zikeng! Clement! My awesome neighbour Daryl! Jingxing! Zhiwan! Kahloke! Kevin Ng!

Thank you guys :D

Good luck to Huiying and Wenshan for winning the elections. Do Athena proud :D

2009-04-29T23:20:00.001+08:00

I CAN DO IT!

I WON'T LET ANYTHING AFFECT ME.

AFTERALL, I'LL LIVE TO DELIVER. lol

i hope fedex doesn't tax me!

89th Post

2009-04-28T21:07:00.002+08:00

hello world.

I have done all that was needed to be done.

I have endured almost (I hope) all that needs to be endured.

hello world. hope you're listening.

Friends.

do I expect too much of them? expect that they'll keep to their word because it's common decency to? expect too much in them that no matter how screwed up I am, they'll trust me for my capability and not such one stupid insignificant session of Q&A?

Sorry but I don't think it's too much to expect of a friend. because if we just trust Q&As, it's almost as much as a stranger voting for you based on your performance for once. the stranger doesn't know that as much as you can retarded in public, you can be a serious person when you need to get work done. the stranger doesn't know you think half as much as you would about everything and that you hate to be fickle but you just want to look at every issue as objectively as you would. the stranger doesn't know that you refuse to be serious all the time because you're scared that someone will crush you at an instance with their words if you do.

hello world.

and the stranger doesn't throw you around after you've shown too much of yourself.

thank you council campaigning, you taught me so much..

I just wish I didn't need to learn all the lessons that you taught me.

but protection of oneself is always necessary.

because the more you give, the more you tend to fall and get thrown away.

85th Post

2009-04-24T21:47:00.003+08:00

Hello world.

I'm still quite troubled about the whole fac head thing.

but I've decided to let God and let go.

If fac head is for me, then let nothing stand in the way.

If it isnt, I hope I'll fail the interview on monday/tuesday.

Thank you to all the friends who supported me and drag me to agree despite my reluctant self.

recently, I have been losing confidence in myself. afraid that every move would cause an uproar. I just threw my temper today at one of my classmates. Perhaps she might have been too aggressive, but I guess I could have been more diplomatic about the entire thing. things have been going against me. I don't know why, but maybe its because I just simply lack the self control that I used to exert. I hope I can regain it. I need the strength to continue.

I hope this would appear less of a competition to me. I don't know what the outcome would be... but I just want to try my very best... I might not be the best fac head Athena ever had, but I'll be the best fac head that I can ever be.

I don't want to be left behind.

I don't want to be sick.

God, give me strength to cross this river.

86th Post

2009-04-19T21:31:00.001+08:00

maybe I should just let go and let God.

or else my grades will just keep getting hopeless :(

maybe trying to do everything by yourself won't help at all

85th Post

2009-04-19T21:07:00.002+08:00

Things yet to be completed:

1. Preliminary Idea (damn screwed!)

2. HCI Chem ISP Test - revision of Gases notes

3. Copying Jocelyn's Chem Prac Corrections

4. GP research

5. Finish up AQ for GP

6. Math Tutorial

7. Econs notes revision

damn shitty. and there's friendly match tomorrow with NJC so I'll hardly get to do work tomorrow night. oh gah. and I'm still sick. gah.

on a good note, Zhiwan came to church today and had steamboat with us. and we had lotsa fun... and he definitely enjoyed the almost 'free' food. lol

I spent some quality time with you today. wish there can be more opportunities ><

22 April - 1st month. --> I'll try to remember. LOL!

84th Post

2009-04-18T20:52:00.002+08:00

I went to SMB hoping to find a message that would be relevant to me.. as in a positive message..

and I ended up finding..

"Dear C1 Chemistry Students,

Hi!

This is a gentle reminder that the weekly ISP Online Quiz
on Chem Bonding & Gaseous State has been opened since Wednesday. Log in
to ISP --> E-learning --> Tests. This test will close tomorrow night.

There will be an online quiz every week which will begin on
Wednesday and end on Sunday. Please bear in mind that these online
tests will be part of your alternative assessment grade.

Cheers,
Mrs Phee PL"

Oh gah.

never mind. Busy night ahead :( I just want to say thanks to all those who asked me how I was and tagged on my board. I really appreciate it :D I'm better already, the disappointment has faded away... realized that you cant just always believe a person is as such based on one event... though I still have to be cautious about her. oh wells :D

I love the advert on family by MCYS

"Its the little imperfections that make them perfect"

81st Post

2009-04-18T10:39:00.001+08:00

Talking to Samuel always helps puts things in perspective.

THANK YOU SAMUEL :D

81st Post

2009-04-17T23:44:00.003+08:00

On a brighter note, today I went to crash Ares faculty event with Linus and Andai which was basically like no crashing at all, seeing that both of them were so engrossed in that VBC competition of theirs which they both know they would enter the semi-finals, but never mind.

Jocelyn the pao, Waifoon the lao you tiao, Huiqi and I went to Curry Wok, (I was very guai k, I didn't eat curry) for lunch and talked about our earlier orientation days. Somehow you know that... this will turn out to be a great friendship :D

I sat with Jodie for CT session too, had fun talking rubbish and smsing Sheila which I conveniently forgot to reply until like... wth. at night?! I PWN! This has been happening more and more frequently.

but whatever it is,

I'm a happy girl

had my disappointments yesterday and today,

but I expect to move on.

Zeyu said something very touching to me and I guess seriously we cannot judge each other by the surface value... cos you'll lose the real person instead.

of course, I'm hardly one to claim that I practise what I preach

80th Post

2009-04-17T23:34:00.002+08:00

Hello my friend,

I don't even know how to treat you anymore. I used to think that we had so much potential.. so much potential to be good friends... great friends together. I thought that we could perhaps be those that.. even though our cliques were different, we could still stay together and be good friends.

But over these few days, I was taught a lesson. Perhaps I have been over-sensitive, too naive, expected too much... I don't know and I wish for no one to enlighten me... but I've learnt, I've learnt that you prioritize your friends accordingly... that somehow being in a co-ed environment did change us all... some for the better, some for the worst.

I admit that I've changed as well... though definitely not in my hyperness or some people like Sheila would claim that it's AA-ness, which I do not wish to classify myself under any of such categories... but you, you disappoint me. You made me lose confidence in our friendship and somehow through this incident I realized that I cannot trust you because you will never treat me as the friend that I want to be treated us.

We fought before.. and once again, I stand here, questioning myself, is it worth it to continue this friendship that seems useless and so disadvantageous to you?

but before that I had asked myself, is it too much to expect of a friend?

and I realized both answers were no.

I'm sorry, but I guess we can still be what we are, but definitely not any further.

I expected it from her, because she admitted it outright, but you... I expected more.

Maybe friendship isn't about expectations to you, but then again, if it isn't, people would never have gotten disappointed in each other in the first place. but whatever it is, I guess ours is one to toast for convenience.

Thank you for somehow being there.

Goodbye, my friend.

79th Post

2009-04-15T20:40:00.002+08:00

the same feeling of despair hits me once again...

previously it was when I realized that I got into Council.

no, my friends, I'm not saying that I was upset or unhappy that I got into Council but.. it's just that recently I've been spending less time with my seniors especially my favourite.

and I miss them.

and I miss him.

gah. I don't want it to be like... "but someday we'll forget each other and move with life."

78th Post

2009-04-03T21:47:00.001+08:00

JIA YOU PEA! [Perfectly Eligible Athenians]

77th Post

2009-04-02T21:23:00.002+08:00

Wow.

today was some day. hahhaha

but before all of this.. I want to show you what I wanted to say today actually.

Hello fellow Athenians, my name is Ashleen Ngion and my middle name is Athena. Today I just want to share with you what happened to me yesterday. Yesterday I played badminton doubles game. At one particular point of the match, my partner, Alina and I were losing terribly because we were exhausted. So desperate times calls for desperate measures, my big mouth and I announced to the entire court that if my doubles pair did not win this game, I predicted that I would not enter Council. Basically it was just an incentive to play well. Unfortunately we lost that match. I joked that I wasn’t going to get into Council. Suddenly, Alina said to me, “hey let’s play another game.” And I was a bit surprised, but then it occurred to me that she wasn’t ready to give up yet so my big mouth and I announced that if we win this game, the previous bet would not count. It was a tough fight but I was so encouraged by how Alina fought so hard for us.. for me. You see, fellow Athenians, just like how Alina encouraged me, today I ask for you to vote for me, to vote the rest of PEA because I hope that you would play a part to help me reach my Council dream. Harvey Dent from the Dark Knight once said “chance is everything.” But fellow Athenians, I say to you today that he was wrong, because chance isn’t everything, but your vote is.

hahaha I know there's not much a link but thank you Alina! you really made my day yesterday even though my face was too exhausted to show it.

however, eventually I couldn't do this speech because it exceeded by 1 minute! and Kah Loke said that they'll cut us.. which they really did... without any hesitation. So I did some stupid thing... which involved trying to act like I can play guitar, trying to flip the coin and failing to catch it.. basically thoroughly embarrassing myself. oh well.. never mind, the LT sounded like they enjoyed it :( maybe Athenians are sadistic or something. lol and I sang Lydia dedicated to the current cutest guy in the world... LOUIS. omgosh. I win. I don't even know whether his name is spelt this way. I shall upload a picture some other day... Jerome the big pig put it as my phone's wallpaper... not that I mind :D heehee.

okay.. my list of people to thank:

SAMUEL - for staying on the phone with me and laughing at my speech the previous day.

EEYANG, YUANYI, BEEHIANG & ALINA - for brainstorming for ideas for my speech :D

ANDAI - for being the king that he is -.- okay no lah. thank you for being so encouraging and saying that I sing well... no matter how sarcastic you are. lol

SUCHIN, HUIYING, WOONLUE - for saying that they'll get people to vote for me. don't know how true but never mind. lol

JIANLE - the awesome ___ for telling me my rendition of Lydia was quite good until I burst out laughing.

HUIQI, WAIFOON & JOCELYN - for being so AWESOMELY SUPPORTIVE. I love you guys. I was seriously damn touched when I saw your posters.

ATHENIANS - for laughing at me. -.-

and all who messaged me good luck :D

75th Post

2009-03-29T22:56:00.001+08:00

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

74th Post

2009-03-27T22:23:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING ANDAI! :D

Today was an eventful day to certain extent. We continued filming our Council video and didn't really manage to finish it, unfortunately, and we still had to submit it to Gah Loke to look at it. sian. After that I went for training for like one hour? -.- I know. I can't believe it either. Mr Bernard Sit was super nice by the way when he helped us print the posters for free! yayness!

I just wanted to wish you a happy happy birthday this year.

73rd Post

2009-03-25T20:24:00.003+08:00

I am so exhausted and keep coughing like stupid pig.

bloody pao.

but I'm really quite enjoying the whole Council experience like honestly! I'm so glad that I'm in a team with Harrison, Claire and Huiying. We made each other laugh like mad while painting the banner. and I died laughing during the video making. Thank you Andai and Kaimin for helping with the video! Recently, I've discovered really unselfish people who volunteered their time to help us for Council like Linus, Minron, Andai and Kaimin. It's like.. this is what I call altruism :D

JIA YOU PEA!

and I miss you because I say so.

72nd Post

2009-03-22T22:56:00.001+08:00

I am HAPPY! :D

71st Post

2009-03-19T00:21:00.000+08:00

1st day

because it seems impossible

all the more you want it to be possible.

have you felt the feelings of butterflies in your tummy today?

i did.

69th Post

2009-03-10T22:14:00.002+08:00

I need the time,

so see you when you get your A.

I'll be waiting.

This is the most I can ask.

[edit: for your amusement, i really smell like you now]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUIQI!

I LOVE YOU :D

68th Post

2009-03-08T21:52:00.001+08:00

I think I'll take it,

keep it in that little corner of my heart

and finally,

elated, with the knowledge that I'm now able to breathe.

a smile for you.

67th Post

2009-03-08T17:16:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling happy these days

and I havent studied for Math Lecture test

but I'm still happy

cos you know... some stuff makes us randomly happy ><

I've been receiving many chocolates and sweets these days.. not supposed to take them... I'm having this major sorethroat that has been going on since.. orientation. but I'm happy. xD

我不知道这代表什么

但是我知道我喜欢 ><　

66th Post

2009-03-04T11:00:00.001+08:00

And I'd give up forever to touch you,
Cause I know that you feel the same now.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,
And I don't want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
And sooner or later it's over,
I just don't want to miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of the truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.

I just want you to know who I am.

iris - googoodolls

maybe I'm just waiting for a little love to drop from heaven.

65th Post

2009-03-04T10:22:00.003+08:00

今天我没有上学。

有一点可惜。

可是我不知道为什么我感到那么欣慰。

压力。

你是一个人。

他是一个笼子

他把你关起来

你是一个人。

有时候你要留在里面，

你不愿意浪费力气找到那个出口。

你是一个人。

一个人

不管有多么多的朋友

你还是一个人

我好想有一个人拥抱我，告诉我一切都会好。

我可以跟命运玩躲猫猫，但是最后我还是跑不掉

I think I'm inspired by my angel.

如果我说爱我没有如果
错过就过你是不是会难过
若如果拿来当借口
那爱是不是有一点弱

如果我说爱我没有如果
真的爱我就放手一搏
还想什么还怕什么
快牵起我的手

有人说
世界上最遥远的距离
不是生与死
而是我就站在你面前
你却不知道我爱你

我常说
如果人类连爱一个人
都被自己绑住
那世界末日已来到
不需要等到地球毁灭掉的那天

如果我说爱我没有如果
错过就过你是不是会难过
若如果拿来当借口
那爱是不是有一点弱

如果我说爱我没有如果
真的爱我就放手一搏
还想什么还怕什么
快牵起我的手

如果如果你如果如果如果
最后变成如果
我也不能接受
错过错过错过错过错过
我为你感到难过
不能一错再错

我常说
如果人类连爱一个人
都被自己绑住
那世界末日已来到
不需要等到地球毁灭掉的那天

别怕太困难，别怕失去我

如果我说爱我没有如果
错过就过你是不是会难过
若如果拿来当借口
那爱是不是有一点弱

如果我说爱我没有如果
真的爱我就放手一搏
还想什么还怕什么
快牵起我的手

to my angel (I don't know whether you'll ever read this but here goes nothing)

I think I like this angel and mortal game so much or more specifically, I like writing to you because I can be the person I choose to be. I've been losing myself recently and just being able to write to you gives me some kind of satisfacation or comfort knowing that one day I can still revert back to the person I want to be which is me. although this day might seem far. there was one of those letters that I wrote until I broke down on the class bench because I realized how long Ive been suppressing my emotional side, my weaker side. In my letters to you, I can finally stop pretending you know. to be me. don't need to keep things within me. to not have to pretend to be as nice as I want to be. to be weaker than I allow myself to be in front of others.

thank you.

2009-03-03T22:13:00.002+08:00

I cant even be bothered to find out which post I am at already. haha.. just waiting for Samuel to help me finish uploading the files to his ipod. dramafest is on thursday and friday and I havent tried the whole sound stuff along with it. gah. the worst thing is that my iphone had to die today. gg le lah. I think it'll be a miracle if the dramafest seniors vote for me... seeing how "serious" I am. but I seriously tried! woke up early for two days and tried out at night to try out the sounds and just kept playing over and over again.. until I have so many people coming on msn and asking me what on earth am I listening to!

nvm. what is meant to be will be.

just gonna do my best and be myself. thats what he said :D

tomorrow's council interview. I'm a bit apprehensive. the only un-me thing is that I'm going to tuck in my blouse. and nothing else.

serious or not serious

fun or not fun

well.. in the end, I'll just leave it up to God and pray for the best.

Afterall, when you do your best, God will do the rest :D

btw. I love my angel, except when he leaves wayyyy too early for my liking lol.

and samuel is the cutest senior ever! :D actually the first person I noticed in 08s66 was Samuel. lol :D

and I miss you

miss you

and over and over again.

I don't know how I feel anymore,

but one thing's for sure.

You make my weekends brighter. ><

62nd Post

2009-02-28T00:19:00.000+08:00

Today ended on a relatively positive note except the troubling news.

But God, thank you that there is a time and season for everything.

61st Post

2009-02-22T20:17:00.001+08:00

Omgosh. lol.

today was hilarious and sick at the same time. So I woke up this morning and went to church. Had breakfast with rayner and maggie, both of them are damn cute. if only rayner were older. LOL. sorry I cannot help but contemplate such thoughts because he's damn cute. LOL and gullible.. believing that I really thought that make up cell was 5PM AT HIS HOUSE?! lol

during service, someone was smiling stupidly at his phone... so obviously people thought has a girlfriend right! while rayner and I just lamed the whole way through. lol

so after that it was OG lunch at pathetic macdonalds. lol but whatever. lol :D we had a lot of fun playing the random game cos someone was damn lousy at it. lol and we asked a lot of questionable questions lol :D don't ask. damn sick lol. I talked quite a bit with Sarah... actually she's quite nice lah. hahaha maybe the past prejudices blinded me from making a good judgement of her?

then we played pool while Jonathan and Yu Xuan gayed like crazy and kept trying to kill each other.

and that was when I saw him.

He sat there.

His innocent eyes staring into thin space.

His soul seemed trapped within that body of his.

He was crying out for someone, anyone

to bring him out,

to redeem his salvation.

BUT BLOODY HELL I MISSED AND WASTED TWO DOLLARS! but it was damn worth it. I was damn sad though :( Whoever wants to be my best friend, just give me MANTOU and I'm yours.

I wish I could spend more time with you though.

60th Post

2009-02-16T21:25:00.002+08:00

first official day of school.

irritated by the new rule about the school blouse crap.

excited by the prospect of having to take such an interesting subject as history.

fears that I have inadequate knowledge about the cold war.

bored by economics and how awesomely boring it is.. as I've expected it to be.

geared up by the short general paper debate we had about the parathletes.

exhausted by the short faculty dance session that I attended.

on the happier note, today I receive a red blood cell cushion.. hopefully my mortal fails to read this. hahaha :D

but it's uber cute. though it's quite sad that he has to believe that I'm a guy. lol and on the other hand.. my angel gave me this ultra sour sweet that made me feel like dying when I ate it, but never mind. I guess it's the thought that counts.

I never knew playing angel and mortal could be so fun. but of course.. it's an added bonus that you receive a red blood cell cushion which nobody else did!

thankyou b.s.b. for accompanying me home for whatever weird reason you had. I had a very interesting session learning about the perverse mind of man. LOL

history seems to be repeating itself.

for some unknown reason or not.

59th Post

2009-02-14T21:21:00.002+08:00

I feel loved by you :D thank you for your wonderful gift ><>

and no. i dont have a boyfriend LOL

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

I am uber happy today :D

because

praise was a success.. a little screwed up but nonetheless a success

2009-02-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

I think I can forget about sleeping early tonight. I just got home man. wahlao.

56th Post

2009-02-11T22:02:00.001+08:00

I love my class.

I just need more time to love them more. hahaha

thank you bus stop buddy for the slice of pizza and half a sandwich. lol you're already so thin and yet you still sacrificed your food. HAHHAA!

and basketball boy dance damn funnily lol.

yay thank God I've made cool friends like jocelyn, huiqi and wai foon. lol

my classmates are awesome, nice people too.. I just need more time to adjust. lol

56th Post

2009-02-10T22:28:00.001+08:00

I love my bus stop friend.

LOL

54th Post

2009-02-09T22:52:00.002+08:00

sometimes when you just pretend,

everything will seem to be alright.

53rd Post

2009-02-09T22:22:00.001+08:00

HELLO world!

today I was introduced to my ct and my wonderful (mainly pcme boys) class.

my cohort batch dance. yay!

if only my partner was a little...

52nd Post

2009-02-08T17:49:00.003+08:00

okay so today's sermon was pretty interesting and it was an eye-opener for me... don't know why but I was very surprised and scared!

and about right now... I'll be trying to find out whether it's true. according to ** source, it's not true.. as in it does not apply to every guy. Thank God or else I wont be able to look at them in the same way ever again.

haha so yay! :D anyway I'm in class 09s66 with huiqi and jocelyn. yay! they're super nice people from my og and claire's also in my class... so I guess I'm gonna be just fine :D happiness! :D I'm ultra sleepy right now. I didn't get into huangcheng... so sad but never mind... at least I tried :D

argh I cant stand it sometimes. although I don't show it on my face... it doesnt mean that I like it.

51st Post

2009-02-08T01:06:00.002+08:00

HELLO WORLD!

I don't know if years from now, things will change drastically

for today I am relieved and happy.

productive inspire meeting in the morning and happyho's hair was brilliant. whoever falls for her in that hair, she had better marry him. HAHAHAHA

cell group multiplication cg after that. I had a heart attack but...

THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING! ><

49th Post

2009-02-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

OG 26 IS DAMN COOL AND FUNNY :D

like seriously

and our OGL, Li Xiang is damn cool too. hehe :D

48th Post

2009-02-02T22:18:00.002+08:00

American Idol Season 6 (2007) Winner Song

This Is My Now

There was a time I packed my dreams away.
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.

There was a time when I was so afraid.
I thought I'd reached the end,
But baby that was then
I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I have to decide,
Was I gonna play it safe.
Or look somewhere deep in side,
Try to turn the tide,
And find the strength to take that step of faith.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around
I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

And I have the courage like never before, yeah.
I've settled for less now I'm ready for more,
Ready for more.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I'm living in the moment
I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.
This is my now.

I think in the very end, the issue isn't about it anymore, it's about not having confidence in yourself and ignoring those people who know you the best, choosing to believe in those who have no confidence in you.

People make blunders all the time along the way of their lives. I know that I'm allowed space for such mistakes but the thing that troubles me is that I caused inconvenience to others.

I'm sorry ms seb.

don't comment on the previous line unless you want to face my wrath.

47th Post

2009-02-01T23:04:00.001+08:00

yup this is the final straw

i surrender

i give up

i throw in the towel or blanket or whatever

at least I tried.

but as my belief goes.. "sometimes trying is not enough."

46th Post

2009-01-28T00:21:00.003+08:00

hello world,

today was a day of mixed emotions, mainly happiness, anger, disappointment and sadness.

got up way too early for my good to get ready to meet yuwen, joshua, elizabeth, vivian and dorcas at the bugis mrt. yet somehow or another, I still couldn't catch the bus so I had to spend some money on taxi because I remembered that I must practise what I preach.

alright then we went to Mel's house for one hour or so then went to bedok to find my paternal ahma. on the way back home, I was in one of those "moods" again and freaked yuwen, joshua and elizabeth out. hahaha I don't know what happened to me either but just abruptly, I just lost control of my proper emotions and didn't bother regaining the control. plain sianess that I experienced. of course coupled with the guilt that I had.

I don't know. I know I could have handled the situation better.. it was expected that I handle the situation better, but.. I don't know. I just didn't feel like doing that. these days, I don't even get to throw my tantrum like I used to... which I kinda miss. I miss those days where I could let go and just explode and know this is exactly how I want to act and not feel a feeling of loss after that. I'm beginning to feel the effects of having to be "the mature one around here". I mean I can talk to my good friends and stuff, but it's just... you don't feel that much of a release.

and in that sense, I'm disappointed at myself for not being able to be the mature one around here. I feel that maturity isnt about an obligation but the renewing of the mind that you yourself is able to realize that you need to let go in this situation.. it shouldn't be something that you are forced to do.

there's no fair exchange between us.

happiness came when I was forced to rebuild the my proper self after I left the people. in this sense, obligation sometimes is nice, because you force yourself to retune yourself back to reality and the expectations of the world that you ignore all the current problems and put on the picture that you need to be. You force yourself not to be the wet blanket... to be the person who makes everyone upset and try your best to be like them. It's actually pretty simple, but I realize that these days, I do that all the time. haha

so then the question that arises is...

to be yourself or to be someone else for the sake of others?

until now. I can tell you, if I'm so selfless, I'll probably be mother teresa 2 =/

farewell world.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR :D

p.s. the quiz in the previous post is koped from eeyang!

45th Post

2009-01-27T23:51:00.003+08:00

If you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook/livejournal/whatever account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
( ) Pirates of txe Caribbean
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
Total: 1

( ) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 4

( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 10

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
( ) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 16

(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
(x) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
( ) Robots
Total so far: 20

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG (2005)
Total so far: 25

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
(x) Surviving X-MAS
( ) Flubber
Total so far: 31

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 31

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
( ) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 35

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremacy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
( ) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 37

( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
( ) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 39

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
( ) Wizard of Oz
( ) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 41

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 53

(x) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 55

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
( ) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 56

( ) BASEketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 56

( ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
( ) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 59

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
( ) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far: 59

( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 59

( ) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
( ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
( ) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
( ) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
( ) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
( ) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 59

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
( ) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
Total so far: 62

44th Post

2009-01-27T09:49:00.002+08:00

Suddenly it dawns upon you that all that matters isn't you,

but it's all about Him.

you throw your worldly cares away

and wait upon eagerly knowing that

all of that is coming back soon.

I suspect that many people are indeed suffering in this recession.

too many of the people that I bai nian to.

42nd Post

2009-01-23T00:55:00.002+08:00

Alright :D

hi-low world!

tomorrow will be an exciting day for my twin (toufoo) and I! hahaha okay at least I hope it'll be relatively fun. heh :D

today was a packed day compared to the rest - math, english and physics lecture. and we had to suffer the fate of eating lousy food in the hwachong canteen. finally I understand what the tms people mean by lousy food in school canteen. hahaah I mean how sucky can a plate of boneless chicken rice get? well... the answer is... find out in the hwachong college section canteen.

so after that went home and had a wonderful dinner hahaha xP in between that I watched mona lisa's smile. good movie... triggers thoughts in your head. hahaha but thoughts with no certain answers =/

I'm a happy person though. I loved my dinner :D it was delicious but I could be a little fuller though. hahahaa

im lazy to blog already. byeee

41st Post

2009-01-20T23:16:00.006+08:00

something embarrassing happened in sakae sushi at wheelock place today -.-!

something embarrassing that involved a can of coke, lotsa sushi rice and happyho&chengteng.

moral of the story is that you should always finish what you order. hahaha it was worth the entertainment though! :D and it's supposedly one fifth of everyone's fault including pinkpink because he inspired the idea in happyho -.-

thanks for treating us too happyho. we all know how hard it is for you to part with your money. HAHAHA! just in case, thank you chengteng for treating us the last time. hehehe

so I had my breakfast, lunch and dinner at sakae sushi. yay I love january cos I get free meals. hahaha xP but it was seriously damn embarrassing. lol

"very clever ah."

lol. we totally had to hide our faces.

after that we walked around orchard :D and I bought a new notebook which toufoo my twin has one too. LOL but I'm definitely gonna customize it. xD because I simply cannot stand the cover. lol then we watched "changeling" a very thought-provoking movie when I think about it, except that I suddenly remembered our sushi episode and forgot to think about the movie until I was on the bus.

political corruption. is it worth it to expose political corruption and cause public unrest?

I didn't think AngelinaJ was suitable for the role of Christine Collins. I mean her face suited the character and the time. omgosh. I think the same as Clint Eastwood "Angelina Jolie was cast in the lead partly because Eastwood felt her face fit the period setting." HAHAHAHA from wikipedia. xD She looked the part, but she was simply lacking in the emotions! like towards the child in the beginning. She seem to be a bit unloving. lol. like I couldn't feel the love she should have towards her child, enough for her to start screaming throughout most of the movie! I realized I actually I've researched on the movie before but I just forgot most of the stuff. oh gosh. I like the person who protrayed the killer and the woman in the asylum that kept screaming "but this is my room!" hahaha

but I really liked the parts where the woman finally got her son back and when they combined the both court scenes. I like the starting too when they use black and white and slowly it fades into colour. hahaha clint eastwood is a cool director

anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPYHO!

we love you always even though you're a cheapo sometimes, ungrateful friend and the new bff of samantha. HAHAHA!

40th Post

2009-01-19T23:51:00.002+08:00

I think my alarm clock sucks like crazy lorh.

two times already.

last saturday and then today.

so irritating.

I want to replace it, but I guess I like it too much already.

never mind.

I shall set more alarms next time.

waiting for her to go online.. have been waiting since 9pm.

want to know more. wish to know more.

yet at the same time, it gets tiring.

ive never tried so hard to get to know someone before.

"don't give up so fast on her"

39th Post

2009-01-19T21:47:00.004+08:00

Just wanna thank all of you that wish me happy birthday!

THANK YOU! by time of greeting for sms.

Kenneth (who smsed me one day before -.-!), Kendrick, SHEILA, Melissa, Beehiang, Peijia, Shuwen, JODIE, Alina, Jessicatan, Eeyang, Natalie, Leo Huang, Sherman Yuen, Shi Tong, Yuwen, Russell, ElaineChia, Carrie, Yanliang, Jingxing, GraceWu, Dorcas, Xiaoxiao, Yijing, JasmineKon

msn - weiting

THANK YOU! :D

to Mummy&Dad - for the money to treat chengteng, happyho and toufoo. IVE DECIDED JODIE SHALL BE CALLED TOUFOO! it's cuter than yongtoufoo! LOL

to chengteng, happyho and toufoo - for my wonderful school bag! lol thank goodness we didn't buy something from dickies! hwachong was swimming with dickies lor.

to sum1 - for your wonderful present >< *touches!* wonderful note I must say. hahahaa xD

to ryanseahjiapinglevi! - OMGOSH I LOVE YOUR CAKE. hahahaha! and I havent lai du zi yet so it's a good sign HAHAHA!

to Kendrick - for your cool notebook! :D with all the sweet words xD and can drink hehe

to n399 - for singing me happy bday and the cool presents. I know Eli and Evonne didnt have an easy time getting the present. hahaha xD

to __ - for GODIVA CHOCOLATEEE!

to my uncles and aunties and AHMA! for angbaos and box. LOL

finally,

THANK BE TO GOD!

FOR ALL THAT HE HAS GIVEN ME! :D

你让我觉得自己是世界上最幸福的人！

38th Post

2009-01-17T00:57:00.002+08:00

koped from alina.

thought it'll be fun!

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
ZHONG GUO HUA! - S.H.E [alright! I didn't know I was so affected by my Higher Chinese olevels paper that I've gone crazy!]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Forever - the Veronicas [Amazingly, quite true! I would like forever-ness! LOL]

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Just Missed the Train - Kelly Clarkson [Alright! but I didn't take MRT today]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

I still believe - Vivian & Cao Ge [YES I DO!]

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Zhi Dui Ni You Gan Jue - Hebe & Fei Lun Hai [Omgoodness. yup zhi dui sheila you gan jue! LOL]

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

All we are - One Republic [uh hopefully this links to some unity crap LOL]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Unwritten - Natasha Beddingfield [LOL yeh they should be unwritten, especially the part about their weight]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Mouth Shut - The Veronicas [erhh. HAHAHA not really :P]

WHAT IS 2+2?

The Scientist - Coldplay [Yup, it takes the scientist to figure that out!]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Mi Lu (as in lost) - Sun Ho [OH MY GOODNESS. LOL! maybe true uh.]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Crawling back to you - Backstreet Boys [yeah that'll be nice. HAHAHAHA]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs [Yes we love rubies! don't like Ruby Lin though!]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

其实很爱你 - Angela Zhang [uh. okay...]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
爱上爱的味道 - Angela Zhang [HAHAHAHAHA! I didn't know I'm supposed to be so in love -.-]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Say Say - Ashley Parker Angel [Alright I shall say "say" from now on!"

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

At the Beginning - Anastasia [oh my gosh, if I do, I'll just faint. I play this song wayy too many times]

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Fei Ni Mo Shu - Tank [okay I don't get the meaning!]

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne [I didn't know my hobby was to hold on lol]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Invisible Life - Ashley Parker Angel [Omgosh, my friends are invisible; no friends!!!]

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Wonderful - Wicked Soundtrack [okay. so the worst thing is wonderful. so I wonder what's the best thing lol]

HOW WILL YOU DIE?

For Good - Wicked Soundtrack [wow. maybe I'll die a superhero or something. -.-!!!]

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?

Helpless when she smiles [okaay. I will regret whatever this means LOL]

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

I don't have to try - Avril Lavigne [wah not trying makes me laugh. ]

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Qian Nian Zhi Lian - Alina playing the piano [HAHAHHAA okay so a thousand years of love makes me cry. or maybe it's just Alina playing the pianol. HAHAHA]

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol [I guess that doesn't answer the question LOL]

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Shou Qian Shou - Many people singing [Okay holding hands scares me. Don't touch my hands!!!]

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Something bad - Wicked Soundtrack [I have more sounds than this seriously! lol]

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Ai Lai Guo [aww.]

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

C Da tiao - Angela Zhang [yah no songs in my itunes hurts like crazy]

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Something that I already know - Backstreet Boys [wise words...]
________________________________________________________

2009-01-16T16:09:00.002+08:00

"do you think im cool?"

"no"

"a bit"

"a bit lah"

36th Post

2009-01-16T10:25:00.003+08:00

Omgah. my knee hurts like crap and it doesnt help when chloe steps on my toe so often. =/

so basically I'm suffering from a lack of sleep and I cant sleep yet because I have to do something. -.- the person in question had better be grateful. so anyway, I'm addicted to "when we were young" by The Killers. The song was introduced to me by GUITARHERO III! hahaha I love guitarhero, it helps me get my mind off stuff. Ryan can vouch for that.

and why am I called hungry dinosaur twice? *scowls.

for all the hope lost,

there begins the resurrection of the soul.

35th Post

2009-01-15T00:15:00.002+08:00

okay I figured out that I needed to blog about serious stuff like new year resolutions... it was gonna be sooner or later. haha :D

ouch my stupid knee hurts like crazy!

okay suddenly I feel lazy. haha too bad :D

34th Post

2009-01-14T22:27:00.001+08:00

When after friendship's lasting years
We part and you've forgotten me
Somewhere in a corner
You'll find this little souvenir
And you'll remember we were friends.

You'll remember our special secrets
The diary, treasure box, and
our
angry little scraps
And onto this book's page
a tear will fall perhaps, perhaps.

And as you turn each yellow page
you will recall when you were young
and recollect the Golden Days
So full of summer sun.

- on a piece of paper found after/during the World War I.

tres belle. my favourite poem!

I fell down today and caused chengteng to fall as well. =/ hahaha but oh well... thanks for mr plasters. hahaha xD

omgosh jodie gave us this damn cool goodie bag plus her wonderful fatboy drawing today for random present day! LOL

and happyho is heartless. seriously!!!

i must think of something to give her back. hehe

OMGOSH MY BIRTHDAY!!! IM GETTING OLDER SOON :D

33rd Post

2009-01-14T10:46:00.002+08:00

crazy night.

finally there's release, thanks to some unsuspecting person.

to you, thank you so much.

and so we carry on,

lessons learnt

failures behind

and we see chengteng fall today LOL

32nd Post

2009-01-13T23:43:00.002+08:00

omgosh

sheer stupidity.

the combination that I wanted was not offered in Hwachong and I didn't check!!! =/ okay so I guess I'll be going with Literature, Economics, Math and Chemistry. I really wanted to take History though. However, this is just a plan; I shall decide later :D

ryan and I are going to be each other's shoulder to rely on in this tough period of hello kittiness LOL

hello. i'm not talking about LKB, chengteng! -.-! but i want to kill you for completely embarrassing me in front of him!!! =(

anyway I forgot to talk about yesterday. went to collect the o levels results thing. if you wanna know, just ask me. a bit sad about it! melissaho stole my dream score :( hate her! so before that, we went around the school and kept doing the "HI MR/MS *insert name*" thing that we've seen the sec4s last year do. lol

then after that we went to collect results, then go to macs where melissa treated us cos she was the winner for this year. LOL and i forgot whether she gave jodiefoo a hug. but i ordered so much but then I was so worried about the others' results that I lost my appetite, but after I heard about their scores, I still couldn't find myself to eat. =/

okay i'm losing my momentum to blog. AHHH

cycling tomorrow. yayness. lol i can't wait to see chengteng be a natural on the bike. LOL!

31st Post

2009-01-13T03:09:00.003+08:00

I've decided.

i'm going to be brave and face my fears

i'm going to ignore the sense of loss

i'm going to give you one last chance

i'm going to forget you

i'm going to stop thinking the unnecessary thoughts

i'm going to do it the hard and fast way

yes, hi, i'm back for real (:

30th Post

2009-01-13T02:42:00.002+08:00

Hello world!

After sleep has evaded me, I have decided to come online to blog at this unearthly hour.

I'm addicted to the piano song, sunflower. First time when Luke played it, I fell in love with it. I don't know why but it reminded me of frogs trying to jump into the well, but only to fall in too deep and realized that all along it has been a well! and then they try to get out, but they cant! so they keep jumpingggg!

I guess I'm a bit like Helen Schlegel uh. lol thinking of music in motion. lol

okay it sounds like rubbish analysis.

so that was the first time, but the second time, on the way home from the CSS3 thingy, on the bus alone, I just felt so happy when I heard the tune again. and at first I couldn't recognize it, cos I thought it would be too much of a coincidence for D to upload that song into my itunes, but then... lol

and suddenly I realized that I really liked the song, because it's so realistic!

it's like the life of a person.

There are those fast parts... the happy, busy moments... he rushes through time without a glance behind and then, there are those slower parts, where... he somehow abruptly starts to reflect. Obviously I preferred the slower parts, because they sounds more pleasing to me... like flowers blossoming under some pink tree... okay must be sakura lol... yet he reflects with a great sense of longing and then he goes back to his busy life again, but I realized that without both parts, the song wouldn't be what it is. lol. which is realistic!

and so you might just ask... huh. but why do you keep using the adjective realistic? well... because isnt that what life is like somehow.. we keep going on with our little busy and happy schedule, rushing through everything... and somehow along the way, we slow down and reflect about life... and this is what makes the whole song attractive.

although we might like to take the time of the whole world to slow down and reflect, but we all know how "thinking too much" can kill somebody.

although we might like to keep ourselves busy and happy all day long like my wonderful bumblebee hat, but we all know how this inability to slow down your pace will one day wear you out.

so this song.. is like a message.

yes I'm not making any sense here. but it's just the way the song makes me feel :D

29th Post

2009-01-11T20:27:00.002+08:00

The sermon for today's service was fantastic and really convicted me, in terms of how I honor my peers and those I have authority over. I don't know how to say it, but I just feel that I can do so much more and change so much more for the better. And lastly, for those who have authority over me, I feel that I can honour them so much more as well. This would be a great area that I have to improve in, of course. I always had a problem with authority and more than often overstep my boundaries. I guess this year would be a good year to learn how to be wiser.

I'm so glad he came today! :D and that he enjoyed the message by Pst./Rev. John Bevere! and I believe that this will be the start of many more visits. Dear God please!!!!

After fellowship, went off with Dorcas and Joshua to Dorcas' house. Finally got to met the famous MOMO and Dorcas' brother, Luke. At first, I was pretty uneasy with momo, but then when I saw how Joshua immediately clicked! (like a mouse) with momo, I started to pat him more and soon, I found myself enjoying to pat him. hahahaha I was pretty surprised at the way Luke was around with Joshua, it's quite obvious that Luke is extremely taken with Joshua. lol. He invited Joshua to come back again and stay for limitless amount of time, while I could come back and have half an hour playing chinese chess with him. lol.

D's mother was super nice! She kept offering us drinks and food which I had to decline because I had no appetite... theses are rare days. LOL. but not only that, she laughed politely at my lame jokes and said that I was handsome. HAHAHA

don't know why, but I just felt so... helpless and lazy in D's house. Maybe it was the lack of food for the day? I don't know. I just felt so... lethargic or maybe it's because I slept at 2.30 and woke up at 7am today. lol I need more sleep. hahaha

Thank God my contact stuck to my eyes today. in fact the right eye lense came out in one piece. so proud of contact lenses :D

I know that it's supposed to be this way

but I don't understand why I'm nearly on the verge of losing control.

I'm feeling h.e.l.p.l.e.s.s.

28th Post

2009-01-10T22:30:00.002+08:00

cos sum1 is not online so I can't tell him how fabulous CAPE NO. 7 is so I shall just blog about it :D

OMGAHHHH....! I cried like a mad cow especially at the end. There's something about old people loving each other that touches me immensely as if someone has just touched me. HAHHAA

so today was movie mania... or rather, not really. The Duchess and Cape No.7! :D I loveeee the show :D it's really good :D :D :D :D :D

okay im lazy already BYEBYE :D

26th Post

2009-01-10T13:05:00.002+08:00

okay so what happened yesterday...

Singapore Poly Open House! I didn't know whether I was the one going to poly or D. lol so I was asking so many retarded questions, hoping to be interested myself, but then... I don't think the interest was enough for me to want to change schools hahaha!

and moreover, I would have to pay $10 to breach the NY IP contract. HAHAHAA NEVAHH especially in a time of economic crisis!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRANCIS!!! :D we're all turning 17 except jodiefoo! hahahaha :D who like did something unforgiveable... *threatens with the meanest scowl Ash has*

After that we went to bugis to have my breakfast, lunch and dinner. The chicken sucks. I'm so sad.... but then there was some pig down that complaining, so I shut my mouth and was too lazy to complain about how lousy the chicken was. remind me to stick to pepper lunch or the pasta. but then tori q saved the day! I had one chicken with pepper and three individual parts as in I koped from the same pig :D so in the end I had two sticks of tori q! XINGG FU! :D

so after that D left - OMGAH IM TOO LAZY TO BLOG THE REST!

cos there's gossip girl now.

SEE YA HUNNIES :D

love,

- the little ngionya *musters up the cutest smile in the worlds*

26th Post

2009-01-10T03:40:00.005+08:00

when i see you,

just some part of me fades along with you.

i wish i can show you what i really want to

but life gets harder

and it gets harder to breathe

you're the man that can't be moved.

and im not the person you're looking for.

25th Post

2009-01-10T03:35:00.002+08:00

together we cry

yes we cry

and we cry

"u emo now meh?"

"yeah"

"why"

"i don't know."

"the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness"

"why"

"i don't know."

24th Post

2009-01-09T12:59:00.002+08:00

I love Cheng teng, cos she treated us to a meal yesterday and I was damn amused lol

melissa, jodie, chengteng and I had the usual fun of taking retarded pictures... the new pose is the monkey pose which I am unable to do... then we played bridge. HAAHA! so typical :P and I lost three rounds before ending the grand slam with A WIN!!!!!!!! :D

Jodie was damn what lor, she entered the crumpler store... took 5 minutes and decided which bag she wanted! -.-! unfair, some people just have too much money. but never mind, I was never part of the cliche gang. AHAHAHA maybe Jodie will meet a handsome guy who accidentally knocks her over and discovers that "WAHLAO WE HAVE THE SAME BAG!" but in the meantime, Jodie will just settle with the SJI dude. LOL

wah but damn difficult to buy food yesterday, cause have to pass the card then I kept tapping the card to see how much I had left because I had so much fun tapping the card. HAHAHA

THANK YOU CHENGTENG! you're so awesome. i hope you liked the brownie cos I did. HAHAHAA and I forgot to clean my mouth after that so I CAME BACK ALL THE WAY WITH THE STAIN ON MY MOUTH!!!! WAHLAO. why you guys never tell me? too mesmerized by my beautiful face already right!

23rd Post

2009-01-08T15:48:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHENG TENG! I LOVE YOU FOREVER~~~ HAHAHAHAHA

Thank you for being such an awesome friend, although I know you've always had a secret crush on me, but never mind, I'm able to look beyond your lesbianity and accept you for who you are. HAHAHAHAHAHA

22nd Post

2009-01-06T20:38:00.004+08:00

Koped from Fiona HAHAHA

Name: Little Ngionya
Shoe size: 6 half
Height: 163cm or 164 but probably 165 HAHAHA
Where do you live: home
Favourite drinks: Teh Si Bing

Have you ever -
Been on a plane : Yeah
Fallen asleep at school: LOL yeah! especially during special lectures but cheng teng wins me in this lah.
Broken someone's heart: SKIP.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: uh NO.
Saved e-mails: YUPYUP :D

What is your room like: Cutely compact like ba zhang
The last thing you ate: ahma's dinner
Ever had chicken pox: YEAH *HA CLAIRE!
Stitches: Nah.
Broken nose: Nah.
Do you believe in love at first sight: nooopeee
Like picnics: YEAH at botanic garden LOL
Who was/were the last person/people you danced with: I always dance alone cause I'm the star already
Last made you smile: erh cant remember but I think the last person that made me laugh was cheng teng cos she said the stupid "xiao ming" crap

Today did you -
Talk to someone you like: nopee
Kiss anyone: nope
Talk to an ex: nope
Miss someone: nope

Best feeling in the world: in the comfort of friends and some food that I like. LO
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: haha NO!
What's under your bed: another bed.
Who do you really hate: THE PERSON I ALWAYS SAY I HATE YOU TO! LOL :P
What time is it now?: tiger time!

Random -
Is there a person who is on your mind now: yup, the stupid person who created this quiz LOL
Do you want children: NOT NOW!
Do you smile often: not really, I laugh more :D
Do you like your hand-writing: YEAH! and there's nothing you can do about it :P
Are your toe nails painted: nope.
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: yucks. LOL oh yeah my parents damn comfortable serioudly.

I can't wait till: dont know leh. lol
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?: uh I have feelings for everybody. I hate them (you know who you are :P), I love them esp chengteng cos she came up with an adorable nickname for me like "little ngionya"
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now?: yeah. I love my mum very much.
Are you too forgiving?: nope.
Who was the last person you cried in front of?: forgot. but I know who I cried on the phone to. LOL obviously to the person I hate!
How many people can you say you've really loved?: MANY!
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: people I hate! then I can rant to them HAHAA

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
1.eating red bean soup in PAP
2.cursing at my maid in my own language
3.learning how to do something
4.breathing
5.OH i know! liking my first guy! lol.

5 things on my to-do list today:
SKIP! it's in my phone already!

5 snacks I enjoy:
1.Carbee Hot&Spicy green packet one :D
2.Ebi Sushi
3.Milk Chocolate
4.KITKAT!
5.dont know already

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1.

5 of my bad habits:
1.

to be edited LAZY ALREADY!

21st Post

2009-01-06T12:54:00.003+08:00

Things are getting a little frustration plus there's that person. =/

You see... I really think there's no point talking about that; there's no beginning and there'll be no end. As much as I want to create anything or try to make anything, there's no way. It's not mutual and nobody is ready for anything. I hate talking about how I feel, because I would have to admit that it's a temporary loss of control of my emotions on my part and the worst of all, is that nothing can be done, ever!

I'm so excited that I've finally got the eight people for Inspire :D With God's grace, I'm sure we'll be able to raise the 300k :D and nope, there's no way I'll put my life on hold for anybody no matter what my feelings tell me. I've a life and I want to live it out well. I'm sure R will understand since he has read that book. hahaha :D I have things to do, people to meet... no more of this. I'm MS PRIORITY! although math homework is not near there. hahaha Thank you Jodie, we'll copy from you if we can't find the PRCS. hahaha or maybe I might just do... depends on my mood. hehe

So I hanged around with the girl who likes Stereo Skyline today and we watched Bedtimes Stories because SOME PEOPLE watched it without me and SOME OTHER PEOPLE refuse to watch and would rather watch some lame porn on the sea by the cliff or something. LOL but never mind, cause somebody's turning 17 soon and we've got to welcome her entry to sexiness with a stupid anime show about a boy losing his goldfish. oh gah.

the girl who likes Stereo Skyline's mum is really nice! lol they treated me to movies, dinner, lunch, free facial wash, cups of orange juice and etc! HHAHAHA I loveee sleepovers cause we do stupid stuff like watch Disney Channel. -.-! and eat oulau!

Anyway I can't stand it (that's why I'm sitting) that they all think you are cool. ARGH!!! you'll just end up and become the BLOODY HOT BABE that you are. NOT. er you know who you are can help me change my blog song to "Take it Home" by The White Tie Affair. Thanks babe :D THANKKK YOUUU :D Don't be lazy and say you'll do it later.

the girl who likes Stereo Skyline's itunes is seriously awesome... so many songs I like. hahaha :D so I'm going to play badminton with her and my mother's cousin and his friends. I hope it'll be fun. I LOVE BADMINTON! but I won't join it next year even though I love my teammates so much >< too much competition for me already. Speaking of which... I really think to show my appreciation to them soon. That has been on my mind for quite some time. ><

20th Post

2009-01-04T21:56:00.005+08:00

OH MY GOSH!

The highlight of today is... I OVERSLEPT! omgosh. I nearly died! I couldn't believe it! If this happens during school days, then I'll be damn happy.. stay at home and sleep. argh why is HCI so far from my house?

I'm watching campus superstar now because I'm a supportive cell group member! hahaha

SUPPORT RACHEL LIM!!!

"She’s gonna perform in the 1st round of competition on 12th of Jan.
So call 19001125003 or sms c3 to 71199.
Support her!! =D
Rachel will be singing I BELIEVE by 石欣卉.
More info pls go to www.theracway.blogspot.com.
Dats her official fan blog."

-credits to sum1

okay so other than the morning incident, I'm so happy that Dorcas liked the butterfly necklace! I seriously thought that she'll not like it, because some people kept suggesting that she liked other things. but oh well. hehe :D crap why I keep coughing. uh anyway, after service, Mel gave Ryan and I feedback about our emceeing. then had to talk about serious stuff. beh =// don't like. don't like!

after that we hanged around and I did what I always wanted to do! I walked to the end of the corridor of the expo thingy... hahaha and then I touched the glass door and turned back. The last time I wanted to do that with Sara but she rejected me halfway or something =/

then I accompanyed Ryan to roxy square to cut hair. The smell in the barber shop made me die. damn strong perfume!!! chatted with him quite a bit. hahaha then he pang seh me go home do math homework! -.-!

uh melissa, chengcheng, I know you read my blog... are you guys doing the math homework? hehe don't know jodie read not. heh!

OKAY HAPPY NEW YEAR :D
xoxo,
the cutest girl in the world.

A!

19th Post

2009-01-04T01:27:00.005+08:00

Hello world!

I cleared things yesterday... I feel a sense of relief but. oh wells! hahahaha xD

We had cg appreciation today! Oh my gosh! I have so many things to blog about... but it's just that my mind is in a whirl!

okay basically, we had cell group appreciation and we played this fun but ridangculous game which involves water and making me pee as much as possible. Rayner and Ivan sabotaged me like crazy and I drank 4 cups of water -.-! hate them! hahaha :D then Ivan played praise and it was damn cool and he also played "Qing Tian" >< so like romantic. hahaha :D then we had cell group appreciation!

and RYAN AND I WERE EMCEEs! omg >< it was incredibly lame and I was terribly embarrassed but I enjoyed that I made some people laugh. HAHAA Ryan said there was a lack of laughter but don't know leh... when I glanced around the room... some people are always laughing.. even jiankai :D super encouraging... the truth is people don't know how nervous ryan was. HAHAHAHA and how worried I was that it might flop, but oh well... I WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO RYAN... WE DID A GREAT JOB! I mean regardless of response, but I had fun :D and we really flow like peace in the river HAHAA :D I hope you had fun too :D

and I won the life of a party award! but I really enjoyed emceeing that part best. I don't know when I went crazy, jumping and pretending to be those clubbing people... there was some kind of release... haha I got a BUMBLEBEE HAT!

which I showed melissaho and jodiefoo on webcam. and they were damn amazed by how beautiful it was. HAHAHA I wanted to show chengcheng... but she went offline already. I called her and she didn't even pick up lah! -.-! must be busy doing the hwachong math paper which has been on my mind but I havent touched it yet. Anyone wants to go do with me :D or should we just copy from jingxing when school reopens. HAHAHAHA!

it's like... IT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY :D and I kinda need that kind of happiness right now. Thanks MEL for the certificate and the ULTRA CUTE HAT! but I have problem putting on the eye mask cause it's damn tight... my head's too cute you see :D

I've so much to do. So sleepy. Then chatted with jac and cendrick during fellowship. Omgosh. first time in my life I only ate one slice of pizza! and three sausages :D omgosh jac and cendrick like all the same people as me. I have love comrades! HAHAHAHA I don't regard them as love rivals, because love should be shared :D hehe :D

ahhh I wished I didn't ask. I wanted to ignore at first, but then... ahh. I don't like this! I don't being so concerned. numb me?

you can still emo to me you know.

18th Post

2008-12-31T22:12:00.001+08:00

I can save this if I can just keep my big mouth shut.

Separation it is. I guess.

gah I'm sad.

17th Post

2008-12-31T21:49:00.003+08:00

HELLO everyone!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! even though it's still new year's eve but whatever. Anyway it has been fun in Macau and Shenzhen but my feet has been taking most of the exhausion. haha we have been shopping non-stop.

I miss you guys! I hope to be able to catch up asap.

Anyway we just had dinner with Mortons and I'm awfully full. We ordered the wrong thing! We wanted the hot chocolate cake but in the end... some chocolate souffle came instead. >< oh well... never mind.

I heard the n399 people are having a blast... going to countdown WITHOUT ME! but never mind :( because apparently people get molested in countdown. HAHAHA

I've been thinking a lot these days. One night I couldn't sleep and I was just thinking about what would it be like if I were in Singapore... >< I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be alone. but then I was for that night... and I wondered how long has it been since I was independent... so alone. I hate that feeling, but then I realized that I must have more of such moments. or else it'll get really hard to be alone. ANYWAY :D on the bright side, the iphone that my parents got for me came in really handy because I was listening to jiu shi ai ni by david tao and anytime by kelly clarkson.

and my sister is terribly in love. lol which isn't helping as well.

I can be alone!
I don't always need a companion to go through the night.

I MUST BE MISS INDEPENDENT! :D

HELLO 2009! I'M SURE YOU'LL BE BETTER THAN YOUR BEST FRIEND 2008! ><

2008-12-27T15:21:00.001+08:00

OMG THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!
*BOX JOYFULLY!*

15th Post

2008-12-26T12:19:00.002+08:00

Oh my. hahaha

I slept at 12 plus yesterday and I woke up at 12 plus today which adds up to 12 hours of sleep for me. hahaha

Then I slept another 3 hours. oh gah my head hurts. When I'm not sleeping, I'm watching VAMPIRE KNIGHT GUILTY! ohmygosh. hahaha

draw a line
take a step
take a bow
laugh out loud

Will be in Macau from 27th - 1st dec. Don't send me stuff. hahaa

14th Post

2008-12-24T22:45:00.002+08:00

SLEEPPYY!

MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL :D

Today was eventful because I had a chance to meet up with Nat and had a great time chatting with her. Nat is the best :D:D:D hahaha like we never run out of things to say :D and we met hoho who passed us the KS BULLS lol. He dyed his hair! which unfortunately I didn't notice. hahaha

The moral of the lesson is that we have to know when to say "NO!" when it is at the expense of ourselves. hehe :D

Right now... I'm over at Alex's house... we're supposed to watch some movie called 11:14 but it's wayy too disgusting for me to continue watching. I'm sooo excited to ripped off the wrapping paper to my present :D and to give out my presents tomorrow to some people.

I don't want BBQ chicken! I just want you to be happy :D

Life is too short to be miserable and idealistic all the time.

farewell my friends. I love you guys and I still owe the guys from NY christmas cards.

LOVE YOU GUYS
XOXO :D

MERRRY CHRISTMAS :D

13th Post

2008-12-21T21:47:00.002+08:00

Koped from William, because I am bored. hahaha

1. Do you have secrets?
It's a secret. haha

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl older than you?
I would fall in love with a boy older than me, but not a girl. haha

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?
As long as God wants me to wait... hopefully it's not too long.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Tithe! HAHAHAHAHA then give some to charity, invest, shopping spree, a cute car!

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Oh my. LOL. er as in male best friend... highly unlikely... I don't know, probably not. hahaha I mean he's your best friend >< I mean unless its the hidden chemistry thing. lol

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved by someone. sorry I'm extremely stingy about my love. hahaha

7.What's the thing u'd like to do now?
Sleep, but I probably wont. hahaa

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I would be soooo sad... take some time to get over the person, all the time pretending that everything is alright. I mean... it's God's will? lol

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
Friends.

10. What makes you sad?
er death? sad people? issues that could be resolved quickly but don't?

11. Describe the person who has tagged you.
hehe I koped from William... so my verdict is that he loves his hair a lot. haahha and he's a really very nice guy :D

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
Mum.

13. What is being regarded as the most important thing in your life?
The lives of my friends and family.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Married but poor. Some people know how much I don't want to die a spinster! hahaa

15.What is your favourite colour?
Orange, Apple Green, Crimson

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, and both of them do the same, who would you pick?
erh. what are the chances that I would? I don't believe you can fall for two people, attraction yes, but I mean I don't think you're so fat to fall on two people right? WAHAHAHAHAAHA

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
Forgive yes, but it takes a lot of time to forget.

18. What do you want to tell the someone you like?
I wish that I could tell you that I've gotten over you by Christmas day... but I might not be ready yet. Thank goodness that you are completely oblivious... sometimes that makes it harder, but that makes it easier too. hahahaa ><

19. If there is a choice between lover and friends,which will you choose?
not sure.

20. Do you believe that there's "True Love"?
YUP!

12th Post

2008-12-19T23:56:00.000+08:00

11th Post

2008-12-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

hello world!

Every time we have dinner with Mr Tan, it always seems like an enriching experience... like you get to clear your various doubts about christianity etc.

I had a good talk with my sister too... about friendship. I realized that both of us have a different perception of friendship. Her idea of friendship seems to be a more "I shouldn't expect anything from you... You shouldn't expect anything from me..." that kinda friendship. Like it doesn't sound very appealing on this blog post, but you've gotta see how my sister handles her friendships. lol

I don't know... I think it'll take time for me to change and try her way but I'll just think about it first. I'm asking Mr Tan to help me look out for a good book about friendship... hahaha the Christ way! :D

hellooo. I think I've got over you. hahaha

Post #09

2008-12-18T13:18:00.000+08:00

I realized that these few days....

I haven't really been loving myself.

Place you as a priority over myself.

I don't even know why.

It doesn't even make sense to me.

Maybe it's the idea of helping you

Wanting to take you out of your own little circle of depression.

Desiring to hear you laugh

Hoping that your day will be fine

Longing to see you grin

But I didn't know it'll backfire so much.

My dear, I draw the line here.

And this is the furtherest I will go

because you stopped me on my tracks.

I'm really sorry.

9th Post

2008-12-18T02:03:00.000+08:00

Killing Me Softly With His Song
( Roberta Flack )

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style.
And so I came to see him to listen for a while.
And there he was this young boy, a stranger to my eyes.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.
I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on ...

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there.
But he just came to singing, singing clear and strong.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

He was strumming, oh, he was singing my song.
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

With his song ...

I've always adored this song in some strange way or another. Maybe it's just the title... "killing me softly..." the idea that someone is unknowingly killing someone else. What an idea that is much present in this day. How many times have we silently been killed by the words and actions of our loved ones, by our close friends, by those we respect, by those we want to befriend?

every word, every sentence, every glance,

so probably one part of my heart has died along with you,

In those countless times you know not of,

but I stay there anticipating,

with the knowledge that resurrection is near.

8th Post

2008-12-17T23:54:00.000+08:00

hello world!

today was some kinda day. lol woke up at around 9 plus to get ready to go to work with parents. and did stupid stuff in the office which really isn't worth mentioning. but chatted with melissaho about HP and floorball camp which I am not going for. wanted to call sheila chengteng but obviously she wasn't available... *shrugs.. maybe she's still nursing over her crush on me. LOL

Sheila ◊ said:
i'm not strong enough to stay away from you anymore

can you imagine my shock when she said this? I mean like.... seriously lah... though I may have an adam's apple... according to unreliable sources, I'M HONESTLY A FEMALE! REALLY! I can't have girls forever fawning *is that the right term?* =/ over me.

okay so basically after that I went to tekka mall to meet Alex who was working in some ulu christmas shop... the fifth level guys... and the amazing thing is that PEOPLE ACTUALLY VISIT THE SHOP! as in there are people who actually shop around there.... I mean like... who on earth goes to tekka mall?!

but I underestimated the beauty and power of tekka mall...

cause when there's a sheng siong...

there's a cheapo.

HAHAHAHA which is ME! I had so much fun shopping there... buying rubbish while waiting for Alex to finish his work. Then we waited for bus 48 to go meet Alden. And honestly... I don't know whats the big fuss that my parents have been making about the Ngoi brothers, because Alden is exactly the same, except his hair... I guess. HAHAHA so we went to KFC and caught up nothing... cos basically they are just the same!!! By the way, Alex changed his hairstyle too...

OMGOSH everyone has got to hear this! Apparently right... Alex has been slogging so hard for the whole holidays working... because he wanted to save up $1000 for a DOLL!? like what on earth right? Who on earth works so hard for a freakin doll? But he says... it's alter saber doll or something by Volks or something...

and I think he is just weird.

and the funniest thing is that after he got that money... he discovered that the doll became $2000! HAHAHAHAHA so he can't buy the doll. LOL

anyway, we went over to Alex's house to watch Butterfly Lovers rented from video ezy... I should have listened to xinyu and chinsian man... the show SUCKED SHIT! We watched halfway and couldn't take it anymore so we just left. So the two weird boys sent me home...

it was damn funny to be with them though. hahaha :D

so my last words are...

bloody mary. can't you just be a girl so that I can go out with you more often?!

Post #07

2008-12-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

hello world :D

today is a relatively happy day for me :D because there was breakthrough

firstly... things improved today, though I really thought it would get worst especially in the beginning. "someone" would know what I was talking about. heh

secondly... I got the edusave good progress award. yayness! THANK GOD! lol I was so excited that I shouted in the lift... "THANK GOD" and yes, I was alone. haha I totally didn't expect it... but I got my blessing :D YES!

thirdly... my contact lenses for my right eye came off again!!!

so I woke up to my alarm to reply dorcas' morning sms lol which failed miserably cause I sorta flopped back into bed but thank God, I managed to wake up at 945. played guitar hero which I totally sucked at but will keep trying to improve. then got ready for rachel lim's CSS3 thing at mediacorp. oh my goodness... remind me never to go to mediacorp to support friends anymore... it's just wayyyy too time-consuming!

met rayneree at bedok and he looked so funny in his tms uniform but it's the same suan-suan-suanny thing with him before we met mr and ms late. we also discussed about adam's apple. any idea whether adam's apple is only for males only? cos apparently I have one... according to unreliable sources. lol

so four of us headed to toa payoh then to mediacorp and I was there from 1pm - 6.30pm... omgosh. rachel lim sang well hahaha and the hosts were sooo funny! as in surprisingly, they were naturally funny. hahaha especially the bonsak guy or whatever he is called. hahaha

then ivan, dorcas, joshua and i left early because we had other stuff on. hahaha and ivan "cleverly" led us to some long way to novena mrt but thank God when we stopped some random car to ask for directions, they sent us to the bus stop instead. and if they hadn't, we would have spent 20 minutes walking like stupid idiots...

so now I'm back at home, happy, full and contented :D

and I think I might just like pink.

and I've always thought I was the yellow type of girl, but maybe I'm wrong eh? lol like when I was a child, I always took the yellow ranger persona!

THANK GOD!! :D

Post #06

2008-12-16T01:41:00.001+08:00

ashy took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting n..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Post #05

2008-12-16T00:26:00.000+08:00

thank GOD for GOD!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I lift my whole chaotic life unto His hands. It's tough, but THANK GOD that absolutely NOTHING is impossible with Him :D

and yes, I'm keeping you.

because I believe that there's a reason for everything :D

Post #04

2008-12-15T22:22:00.000+08:00

So my heart is pounding and I feel like crashing.

Ever had the feeling like you wanted to ignore a person, but yet at the same time, you still persist, because you are simply guilty for avoiding the person?

I don't mean to think about you.

You know I hate to do that... the feeling of having to lose control over my mind, trying to scream for you to get "IT!"... for you to know the answers to all my problems...

You know I hate it... having to wonder whether this would hurt you... but yet still have the feeling of guilt for not wanting to care whether if you ultimately do.

You see... we've got to move apart, in different directions.

because you simply don't get it.

I am here, but how long can I still be here? How long would it be, before my spirit is completely drained and that I become over-emotional like I used to. You know I hate that too. that I hate the idea of having to invest emotions in something as unreliable as you. I won't last with all my insecurities and all my fears.

I'm letting go and letting God.

because... don't you get it?

I like you.

I'm discouraged by you.

I feel weird with you.

I love you.

disclaimer: all of the "you"s are different people so you'll probably fail trying to match any emotions.

Post #03

2008-12-13T23:14:00.001+08:00

Hello world.

I've just realized that people dont like being around people who are ALWAYS emotional and upset so I'm going to try to stay happy. Many things happened, but I guess we should realize that nobody should take the blame. One side is insensitive but expects the other to be sensitive, the other side is sensitive and bah bah bah.

Ever wonder that when you accuse somebody of being insensitive... you too are doing the same because you are being insensitive enough to accuse the person of doing that? hahaha

thank you to muli muli aka lulu for always listening to me rant! I'm going to try to be a happier person now.

some people just live in denial, but you always wonder whether you'll be too mean to tell them so you end up only thinking.

I LOVEEEE MYSELF too much to let myself continue the same way that I am. So I promise you I'll think about it when I get into the mood... so it's either goodbye or hello, things will never be the same again.

but I just wish that when people are being ignored by a large number of other people who are considered relatively nice, they must comprehend that something is wrong with them.

It's not them, babe, it's you.

bye world!

#02 Post

2008-12-13T01:06:00.000+08:00

gahh I love the 6A2 outing, had skeptical thoughts that it would turn out to be a major disaster, but eventually everyone got comfortable and it was back to the old days of immature people teasing each other. hahhaa

but of course things still trouble me.

but just for tonight, I would put them aside and have a good rest. I basically slept 3 hours in total for today and I think I lack the energy to continue anymore! On the happy note, I'm pretty happy with the fringe that I have now... I think I look wayyy younger than before and not as haggard... or so I hope.

On the prettiest note, I'm happy because this morning I had fun :D :D :D :D

post #01

2008-12-11T21:48:00.000+08:00

hello world!

I've basically decided to switch blogs because I couldn't change font sizes in xanga or change the font colour. I'm super in love with this song... since a super long ago :D

Absolutely by Nine days

This is the story of a girl,
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looked so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles...

How many days in a year?
She woke up with hope but she only found tears.
And I can be so insincere,
Making her promises never for real!
As long as she stands there waiting,
Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes!
How many days disappear?
When you look in the mirror so how do you choose?
Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say...

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES...

How many lovers would stay?
Just to put of with this shit day after day!
How did we wind up this way?
Watching our mouths for the words that we say.
As long as we stand here waiting,
Wearing the clothes of the souls that we choose!
How do we get there today?
When we're walking to far for the price of our shoes!
Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say!...

THIS IS THE STORY OF A GIRL,
WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD!
AND WHILE SHE LOOKED SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS,
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER,
WHEN SHE SMILES...

Your clothes never wear as well the next day,
And your hair never falls in quite the same way-
But you never seem to run out of things to say...
This is the story of a girl,
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looks so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her-

This is the story of a girl;
Her pretty face she hid from the world!
And while she looks so sad and lonely there,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles...

This is the story of a - girl!
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world!
And while she looks so sad in photographs,
I absolutely love her,
When she smiles...
When she smiles.

so my heart is broken.

and i yearn for someone to see me.

it's the unwritten girl code. how come I didn't know.